Divorce is a major life event that affects everybody in the family. It is an unexpected and disappointing ending that uproots spouses and children’s plans with an intensity that often takes years to resolve.

As this process begins, many of the symptoms below develop as people try to cope with the major changes that they are undergoing:
 
Physical: Headaches, Muscle tension, Nausea, Intestinal problems, Impaired sleep, Lack of appetite, Lack of energy,
Restlessness, Shakiness, Tearfulness

Emotional: Sadness, Betrayal, Embarrassment, Numbness,
Anxiety, Irritability, Disappointment, Hopelessness, Betrayal,
Sadness, Fear/panic, Abandonment, Irritability, Anger

Concentration: Memory loss, Indecisiveness, Confusion, Difficulty learning, Slowed responses, Increased mistakes,
Disorientation, Poor concentration, Longer to do tasks


Although time often heals, it is important to make sure that these symptoms don’t continue to affect moods, health, and relationships, school and work performance. If they do, it is time to seek professional help for both you and your children.

A visit to your family doctor and an evaluation with a mental health professional are a good place to start!  As with any other thing in life, the sooner you take steps to deal with it, the faster it is resolved. 

Counseling can help everyone work through those feelings that arose from the strain of the relationship, and the divorce. It can provide a safe place to move past these feelings and re-claim your life. It can also be a place to learn techniques to cope, calm anxiety, and feelings of loss and anger and restore stability.

Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness! Getting support at a time in your life when your world feels upside down can only help restore balance and help you get on with your life.


**************************************************************
Bernadine Merker LCSW is a licensed professional counselor with over twenty years of experience. She has counseled children, adolescents and adults who are undergoing major life changes, anxiety, depression, bi-polar disorder and PTSD. 
She co-facilitates CONQUERING ANXIETY, an 8-week workshop designed to provide the tools to manage anxiety/ panic disorders. Her office is located near I-25 in the Denver Tech center. She can be reached at (303) 770-0940.

Attitude is our perception and beliefs about ourselves, people and the world.  A healthy attitude can infuse us with strength, power, and optimism.  It brings joy and endurance.  On the contrary, a negative attitude can fill us with exhaustion, bitterness, and pessimism.  It brings sadness, anxiety and negativity.  

Attitude is……………….

Ø      Not what happens to you but what you do with it

Ø      Whether you see the glass as half empty or half full

Ø      The yardstick against which moment is measured

Ø      Contagious, inspirational, and empowering

Ø      What gets the job done

Ø      What makes us feel free or what makes us feel imprisoned

Ø      What makes us see the good in a bad day

Ø      That quality that makes us keep trying

Ø      What gets us through adversity

Ø      Capable of helping us to change our lives

Ø      What gives us hope

Ø      A state of mind

Ø      Valuing what you learned from a painful situation

Ø      Part of our character

Ø      What defines us

Ø      A self-fulfilling prophecy

Ø      Being able to value what we have rather than grieve what we don’t

Ø      Knowing that this too will pass

Ø      The belief that there will be better days

Ø      Creating your own joy

Ø      Re-inventing yourself

Ø      The glasses through which you see yourself and the world

How would you describe your attitude?  

Conquering Anxiety is counseling and therapy to help you regain peace in your life.  Licensed counselors Bernadine Merker and Allison Rimland offer 8-week Anxiety workshops in the Denver Tech Center. Don't let anxiety run your life! 

Social anxiety is an intense, disabling fear of being around people for fear of being rejected and/or judged. It is estimated that social anxiety affects approximately 7% of the population. That includes children, adolescents and adults, both male and female. 

People with social anxiety do not have anxiety when alone, or with family, or while doing tasks; it is only when they are in situations where they have to interact with people. This could be at school, work or social situations. People with social anxiety often avoid social situations - not because they don’t like people, but because the irrational fears and intense anxiety are so overwhelming. There is an awareness that the fears are out of proportion, but this understanding does not take away the fears. 

Some of the triggers for social anxiety are:
-Meeting new people in any situation
-Public speaking, or speaking at meetings or social events
-Eye contact
-Having to request something, or be assertive
-Being supervised or watched while doing a task
-Receiving lots of attention
-Receiving criticism
-Being teased
-New Situations

Some of the symptoms of social anxiety are:
-Intense fear                                        
-Embarrassment
-Nervousness                                      
-Trembling
-Blushing                                             
-Racing heart
-Sweating                                            
-Difficulty speaking
-Cold hands and feet
-Mind reading others:  thinking everyone is watching you and thinking badly of you
-Inability to maintain eye contact

Social Anxiety Treatment:
Social Anxiety responds well to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which helps people to change thoughts and learn new behaviors.  CBT is quite successful in a group setting. 

Conquering Anxiety provides an 8 week workshop in the Denver Tech Center for those who suffer from anxiety and social anxiety.   Conquering Anxiety is led by two licensed anxiety therapists: Bernadine Merker, LCSW; and Allison Rimland, LPC. www.denveranxietyhelp.com

Do’s:

-Eat healthfully. Make sure you are getting enough lean protein, vegetables, fruits, and whole grains.

-Drink plenty of water each day 

-Get at least 8 hours of sleep each night

-See your doctor if you cannot fall or stay asleep

-Take a multi vitamin each day, and consider adding B Complex vitamins, Folic Acid and Omega 3 Fish oil

-Exercise to get your endorphins going and help release tension

-Take time for yourself

-Plan things with family and friends to look forward to

-Get a massage to help you release tension from your body

-Get professional help.  If anxiety has persisted for more than a few weeks and is interrupting your work, life, school, or relationships; get the help you deserve now!

Don’ts:

-Make chocolate, sweets and refined carbohydrates a regular part of your diet

-Drink sweetened drinks or alcohol in excess

-Stay up all night doing things or using the computer

-Forget to eat well and watch your nutrition

-Be a couch potato

-Over-commit to doing things

-Isolate yourself

-Convince yourself that you can ignore persistent anxiety or “fix it” on your own

Conquering Anxiety:  counseling and group therapy to help you regain peace in your life.  Licensed therapists Bernadine Merker and Allison Rimland offer 8-week Anxiety workshops in the Denver Tech Center. Don't let anxiety run your life!

Everyone has days that they are nervous, anxious, and maybe even occasionally fearful. The daily stress and fast pace of modern day life affects us all. There may even be an event that we are anxious about, or an isolated period of stress that occurs. Those are all normal experiences, which eventually pass and people then return to their regular states.

Ask yourself: Do you feel anxious long after a stressful event has passed?  Do your anxious feelings occur frequently throughout the day? Do they affect your emotions, job functioning, ability to concentrate, or relationships?  Do you think your anxiety affects your health? If so, you may have an anxiety disorder.  

Anxiety symptoms may include:

• Constant worrying, and/or a sense of doom
• Feeling out of control, emotionally and physically
• Being on edge, easily startled
• Fear of going to routine or new places
• Muscle tension, stomach aches, nausea, head or back aches
• Decreased concentration, memory and focus
• Cold or numb hands and feet
• Sweating/flushing, rapid heart beat, difficulty breathing
• Feeling faint, dizzy
• Feeling detached

1. Get evaluated by your doctor to rule out a physical condition causing anxiety symptoms
2. Seek care with a mental health professional who specializes in treating anxiety disorders
3. See what toxic or unhealthy people, places and things need to be removed from your life. 
4. Watch your diet, and make sure that you are treating any other health conditions that you have
5. Exercise regularly
6. Set up a good social support system for yourself
7. Make room in your life for fun, joy and new experiences
8. Learn relaxation techniques
9. Explore ways to soothe yourself and bring down the anxiety